And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
