Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
