Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
