Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
