Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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