drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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