As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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