If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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