I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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