so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize