Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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