I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
