ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
