Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
