I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
