Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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