I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
not ubering you a puppy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
