New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
