remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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