That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
