Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize