How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
