you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
