I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
