I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
