Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want nice things and good sex
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize