do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't deserve a penis
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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