The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
