ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
