Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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