I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize