Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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