She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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