I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize