just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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