I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
