I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize