Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
