Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
