Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
