Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
