i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
