I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
