Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to stop coming to work sober
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
