that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Two words: nipple clamps
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