We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
