a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
