the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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