If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
