I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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