you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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