Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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