So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
