i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
