he wants to bone in the snuggie
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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