i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
