your thong is hanging out like whoa
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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