You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
