Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
