I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
