"it" just moved
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
