i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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