Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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