just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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