Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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