That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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