We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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