I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
