next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
