just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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