Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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