2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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