I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize