smell my finger.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
