She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
