Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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