Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
