You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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